Pipe Dream

I’m brainstorming ways to find an art studio/showroom space because I’m outgrowing our converted garage. I’m starting to wonder if giving myself permission to make full sized human sculptural figures was a mistake? Somehow I’ve needed these forms to be the same scale as you and I. And it has helped me process some feelings/concerns about our planet and my health. But I’m really questioning the sustainability of that going forward.

I really love these ‘Dissolving Dance’ figures and Tom’s been very patient with the 3 that’ve taken up residence on the bedroom wall. It does feels a bit like I’ve thrown a big party underestimating how much space all the large personalities might need. Living in a small, simple home on this super pricy Silicon Valley peninsula is not ideal for an artist trying to find an affordable 800-1,000 sq ft workshop/showroom.

But recently there’s been a local commercial realtor who’s begun to show me some patience. I had first given her a call when I saw her agencies sign on a vacant dental office complex. It said “motivate landlord” and my heart leaped. Could it be that prices were finally coming down after 20 years of being untouchable? So many of these building have stood vacant throughout the pandemic, but property owners have been willing to “wait it out” and just let precious space sit empty year after year. My hopeful bubble was quickly burst when she explained that “motivated landlord” meant that the price had dropped, by 15 cents, from $3.50 to $3.35/sq ft!

I found myself blurting out “I’m just trying to take a big leap in my life and follow my pipe dreams. D’you have any thoughts about how I might find a space?” Since then she has given me some creative ideas, but no luck finding a good situation yet. Still the phrase “pipe dream” has been going around in my head. Turns out it means “a fanciful or unrealistic idea or plan that is unlikely to be realized or achieved. The origin of the phrase comes from the practice of smoking opium in a pipe, which produces a dream-like state”.

Hahaha, maybe I should find new words to explain what I’m aiming for? But I will say this, the reference to the “dream-like state” resonates for me. It feels connected to that creativity realm, that place from which the most fulfilling parts of life have blossomed. And lately I’ve really been sinking into an energetic field inside and all around me. Maybe you know what I mean? D’you want to meet me there? What are your pipe dreams?

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other”
doesn’t make any sense.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.”

-from Rumi poem “A Great Wagon”