BREAST PLATES

Why am I alive at this time? Has anyone else been asking themselves this lately?

Somehow it’s all coming to a head for me. Turning 60 in a couple weeks and wondering if I have any help to offer with the big, scary problems in the world. I just want to use my life to help make things better for the world and my health.

All over social media “self care” is the buzz. People trying to manage this long term, high level stress. In one way it’s good to see, but it’s also annoying that it’s almost always linked to something that’s being marketed to us and also often delivered with urgent messaging that implies we need to do something to “fix” ourselves. It’s complicated, isn’t it?

For now the way I’m trying contribute and heal is by spending more time in my new little art studio. We converted our garage into my art space and I love it. It used to be where I taught yoga and the space still feels kind of sacred because of that.

Though it turns out now my first task has been to do a bunch of crying—about the problems in the world as well as my health struggles. I’ve been letting the feelings come up and the tears just roll. Somehow I keep landing in a place inside me that feels like giving up. And that’s not a bad thing. It just feels like presence and an accepting of it ALL. It feels like a relief.

It’s gotten strangely quiet inside me. I often just sit there for a while. Waiting. Zoning out a bit, until some subtle feeling rises up and pushes me towards tinkering with my materials. I’m not saying masterpieces are happening, but I am touched by what’s been showing up. I’m here for it! It’s what I can do right now. My god I hope it helps us all somehow.

Photo : “Breast Plates”, a symbol of nurturing, sensuality, shielding and ornamentation. For me it’s a blown glass exploration into the privilege and struggle of being in a unique human body with all it’s uniqueness, frailty and protective strength.